The Hornswoggle Project
Hello friends. Are you tired of wasting your valuable time on false claims and scam products that don’t work?
Do you have better things to do than slog through pseudo-scientific articles about the benefits of the latest trendy “miracle”?
Well, we here at The Hornswoggle Project have the perfect solution.
Don’t waste your precious time reading a long article about the benefits of putting a jade egg inside your vagina. Don’t blow fifteen minutes of your day watching a video about the newest “Miracle Herbal Cure” that is really just some weeds ground up and stuck into a gel cap. Don’t bother with all those “testimonials” by people like “Scott G.” and “Jill S.’ and “Mary P.” telling you how they’ve improved their health with the new trendy breathing technique.
Yes, that’s right, you can save time and energy by simply using The Hornswoggle Method. When you feel that desperate need to get scammed out of your hard earned money, just send it to The Hornswoggle Project. That’s it! Fast, easy and no waiting. You can be ripped off instantly! Think of the time savings… no longer do you have to visit Goop. Com to find out the latest quack idiocy from Gwyneth Paltrow, waste minutes reading about it, viewing videos explaining it, reading testimonials verifying it’s “benefits”. Just send your money to Hornswoggle and get INSTANT GRATIFICATION! That’s right INSTANT GRATIFICATION!
You will feel completely scammed and ripped off, without all that reading and watching videos… and the BEST PART? You don’t have to order a thing, you don’t have to wait for that jade egg to arrive via post. You don’t have to read the instructions on how to use the “miracle formula”, or how often to take the “miracle fat burning pill”, or even how hot to make that “coffee enema”… just send us your money and feel duped INSTANTLY!
The time savings alone is worth every penny.
But that’s not all… with Hornswoggle, YOU get to choose exactly how duped you want to feel! That’s right, we at Hornswoggle won’t demand you send us $39.95, nor even $29.95… no, not even $19.95… YOU CHOOSE! Send us whatever amount will fulfill your current need to feel stupid and YOU’RE DONE! Only need to feel a little bit scammed today? Send $5.00… need a bigger dose of foolishness? Send $10.00… want to feel especially stupid, send us $50.00. THE CHOICE IS YOURS.
And best of all, you will get no false claims at Hornswoggle. We promise nothing except that you will get taken, and feel stupid. And WE DELIVER ON THAT PROMISE! We won’t “burn away your fat”, we don’t promise “long life” or “better health”… no sir, we are HONEST here at Hornswoggle, we are ripping you off.
So please, save time, save energy and even dare we say it? Save MONEY! Just send whatever you need to send to feel like a sucker to the address below. We don’t promise it will improve YOUR LIFE… but it will most certainly improve OURS!
Send all payments via PayPal to fraterchaos@protonmail.com.
DISCLAIMER: This may seem like satire, and you’re right, it is…. but on the other hand, if you’re dumb enough to shove a piece of jade up your twat, you’re dumb enough to send me free money. And seriously, if you send any money, I’ll take it, and I won’t even thank you. I PROMISE!
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