parable #flashfiction #religion #violence #ironic

Sitting in church on Sunday morning, listening to a stirring sermon on "Getting Right with God," 85-year-old Grace Whitby realized she had concerns. She did not have much time left to get right with God. Remembering several episodes from her youth, she knew she would have to do something very good indeed to assure her place in Heaven.

Grace was inspired by a plan.

She went home and took out her gun, and lovingly concealed it in her handbag. Then, she set off for the local abortion clinic. Once there, she unobtrusively slipped inside, unnoticed by the busy doctors and receptionists. If any did see her, they probably assumed she was one of the volunteers, there to help counsel the clients.

Grace was able to take her position and shoot down several of the evil heathen before the cops arrived. In the ensuing insanity, Grace was accidentally shot dead. Yes! She was a martyr for her Lord.

Unfortunately for Grace, Jesus was His own martyr, and quite jealous of the position. Much to her surprise, Grace finds her immortal soul now resides in the Muslim Paradise, where she is constantly getting into trouble due to her lack of knowledge of the language and expected etiquette.