Neoliberal John Snow

The father of epidemiology, but neoliberal. Addressing preventable disease through deregulation and individualism.

This whole account is pure gold.

• Broad street businesses were complaining so I reinstalled the pump handle.

• There is no parliamentary solution to the 1854 cholera epidemic. Cholera will be circulating in our community for hundreds of years and we must realize a new normal of life.

• I'm relieved to let you know that most people dying from cholera in the 1854 epidemic have multiple comorbidities.

• I respect the individual choices of all Londoners in this 1854 cholera epidemic. If you have cholera and want to defecate in the drinking water, that is your individual freedom. If you are afraid of getting cholera yourself, simply don't drink, cook, clean, or bathe with water.

• We've been struggling with the 1854 cholera epidemic for so long. Zero Cholera isn't a realistic goal. The parliament simply cannot allocate the necessary funds to upgrade the London sewage system.

Look at that! The Royal Navy received a larger budget increase than requested.

• The cholera epidemic of 1854 has split Londoners into two adversarial groups: Those who will defecate in the drinking water and those who won't. Can't we find middle ground to heal this rift, and simply drink the feces-contaminated water?

• The 1854 cholera epidemic has disproportionately burdened the destitute. Calls for Queen Victoria to provide support for this group have not gone unheard, and she now recommends that these people stop being poor.

• The Supreme court ruling means companies can now take down their burdensome "Employees Must Wash Hands Before Returning to Work" signs. Great news for businesses in this 1854 cholera epidemic.

• Our restaurant industry is ready to serve you in this 1854 cholera epidemic! If you are having uncontrollable diarrhea when you arrive at the restaurant, please be sure to hold it in until you are seated at your table.

• The 1854 cholera epidemic has been difficult for Londoners. To alleviate this burden, Queen Victoria is proud to announce that each household in London can register to receive 4 entire squares of toilet paper! Please avoid contracting cholera during the 7-10 day shipping window.

• As I watch excrement dribble down the pantleg of the grocery clerk and expand the puddle on the floor of the produce department, I smile. Our 'Get to Work' policies allowed this boy with the sunken eyes to meaningly contribute to the economy, despite the 1854 cholera epidemic.

• It's not an 'anti-clean-water' protest, they just oppose any mandate for the installation of sewers during the 1854 cholera epidemic.

• You orphans have nothing to complain about. Your parents died WITH cholera, not FROM cholera. They really died from hypovolemic shock.

Previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously.

#uncategorized #bigbrother #doomed #plague #poop #pranks