#Depression is nasty...
I've been effectively crippled for years, and it got more extreme with time. I did not understand what I was suffering from before, but it has become clearer to me as I've been paying more attention to my mental health. Prior to this, I was just trying to force my way through things, and I just got worse and worse, until I could find no joy in anything, among other things. The ride is not over yet, I remain in the woods, but since I'm being treated for it now, my mind has cleared up enough that I can start to describe it.