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The song is about a man's long-standing unrequited and unadmitted love toward Alice, his next door neighbour of 24 years. The protagonist learned through mutual friend Sally that Alice is moving away, and begins to reflect on childhood memories and his friendship with Alice, and becomes heartbroken as he sees Alice drive away in a limousine. In the final verse, Sally reveals that all the time she has been waiting 24 years for her opportunity with him ("Alice is gone, but I'm still here").
Later versions of the song insert an interjection during a pause in the chorus (from the audience during live performances or from a guest separate from the lead singer): "Alice! Who the fuck is Alice?" (guests will sometimes say "hell" or "heck"). These performances may also change a line in the chorus so that the singer's affections are as much sexual as they are romantic, and that the singer had hoped to "get inside her pants" instead of "get a second glance."