https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lczgUj4InX0 :) #rooftopGarden

personal note, another reminder [after today again seeing several features on houses locally that "can't be done"] of #thatfuckinghouse torture/blackmail/slavery/defrauding I suffered.
...I was told that [rooftop garden] can't be done. ... among other lies.
All the wonderful things said of it in that video. Exactly. So why did they go out of their way to prevent all that goodness? It does not make sense what they did, still, try as i have for >8 years to figure out why they'd enslave their disabled son, who was not fit for work, to work at designing a home fit for his needs, despite that work pushing his already worst health even worse, then torment him with threat of building a house where every key design feature for health and homeostatic regulation etc, was inverted, and threatening to put him in that, while still asking what would he change about it, as if offering to mend it, but then always doubling down on the worst inversion possible, at every turn that mattered, forcing hundreds more designs, all denied the criteria, but demanded meet the criteria, offered only "meet your needs", suffering through all-over level 7 pain unrelenting for months, denied breaks, berated for ever not doing the designs, denied suitable working conditions, then one day came the ultimatum, the wrong house in the wrong house in the right material, which they twisted his complex answer rejecting the wrongness as accepting the wrongness, and still offering "well what would you change about it", even though the design by then had already been honed in on and refined, following needs, form following function, for them to know what it was supposed to be, and so, they kept asking weird false-binary questions in place of design, but still insisting on design, by the end of it ONE THOUSAND designs done, more artwork than done in entire life prior. was not fit for work. Still picking up the pieces, striving to have the ability to walk. I designed a house to heal. At a glance, identical form as in that video. They built a house that would cripple me. And actively torment me mentally, and harm me physically. Through me explaining how wrong it was. And they still proceeded like they were doing the right thing, like i was supposed to be loving it, and grateful, for being torturered, to design what would be used as template to invert from healing, to the torture box they built. ... even before figuring out I'm autistic, n all the self regulating need of control of ones own environment type stuff... what they did... whwhwhwhaaaaaaaat the fuck was that all about!? they had the opportunity to create something good (and originally it was just a case of put a slab over the old building there, add plumbing, doors, windows, inner wall furnishing, done, but no, then they insisted I were to design it from scratch, fit for my needs, ... I was good to go, didnt need breadcrumbed through that insane hell.) and instead they went out of their way to make it more expensive to be infinitely less useful and worse, actively harmful, and worse, maximally harmful... even in the face of being told, and shown... was it hypnosis and dark tetrad and dementia and... whwhwhwhwat the fuck was that about? why would anyone do that to anyone? fun fun #cptsd. Sisyphus had it easy. His rock only went back down to ground level. Didnt get burried. I envied gregor sama. Many times it felt like I needed to vomit up my spine. ... Seriously. The mix of gaslighting and blowing smoke up my ass, the manipulative transactionalism of the psychopathic narcissism, the total absence of contrition or introspection or awareness & compassion for other people's suffering, or awareness of the significance of dire outcomes... only goes so far to explain it. Why invert everything? Some kind of other aspect of the narcissism? The subconscious retribution against the truth teller threat?

... Anyways, personal pain reminder rant triggering aside... fucking cool house. Ace idea, rooftop garden, maximise food production on land area, eliminate food miles, benefits for spirit, community, environment and health... Glad someone else had the idea, and were not scuppered from implementing the idea by #stupidcants. :)

#wecanstillmendthis

Even if you're suffering some knocks, even if it seems absolutely dire, hang in there, turn mendwards, patiently persevere, you are here, now, there are things you can do, you will find them, and do them, and even where it seems you cannot, just persist in orientation: #mendwards.