Pfizer Releases Brand New, Never-Before-Seen Drug 'Pfivermectin'

U.S.—After several successful rounds of #trials and a quick overnight #approval from the #FDA, #Pfizer proudly announced they will be releasing a brand new, never-before-seen #COVID #drug "Pfivermectin."

"It's important to understand that this drug is nothing like #Ivermectin, even though Pfivermectin rhymes with Ivermectin and it pretty much does the exact same thing," said Pfizer CEO Hans Pfizer. "Everyone knows Ivermectin is a widely discredited #horse drug, and ours is not. Very #important distinction there."

#Experts say that taking two doses of Pfivermectin #every #day at the first sign of COVID symptoms could lessen the severity and duration of the infection. Ivermectin will do the same thing, except it may also turn you into a horse and make everyone laugh at you. Not good!

A Pfizer spokesman also confirmed that their drug will be approximately 30,000% more #expensive than Ivermectin.

"Don't worry about the cost," said the spokesman. "The #government will cover the cost. Besides, that's a small price to pay to not turn into a horse!"