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hackbyte@friendica.utzer.de
hackbyte (friendica) 13HB1

george carlin - advertising and bull shit

#satire #nsfw #foul #language #cleartext #full-citation #George #Carlin #YouGotWarned

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Yes, i sat down to write/transcribe his full performance from this video .. again (last it was on G+ or so, or maybe even already on #Diaspora)..

Because i think, it's totally worth it... And this world surely was a better one with him on it. RIP George Carlin ((May 12, 1937 – June 22, 2008))

He called this one Advertising but i took the liberty to call it:

Advertising, religion and bullshit.

Quality value style service selection convenience economy savings performance experience hospitality low rates friendly service name brands easy terms affordable prices money back guarantee free installation free admission free appraisal free alterations free delivery free estimates free home trial and free parking.

No cash, no problem, no kidding, no fuss no must no risk no obligation no red tape no hidden charges no down payment no entry fee no purchase necessary no one will call on you no payments or interest til december and no parking.

Limited time online though, so act now, order today sent no money offer good while supplies last two to a customer each item sold separately batteries not included mileage my vary .. all sales are final allow six weeks for delivery some items not available some assembly required some restictions may apply.

Shop by mail order by phone try it in your home get one for your car all entries become our property employees not eligible entry fees not refundable local restrictions apply void where prohibited except in indiana.

So come on in, come on in for a free demonstration and a free consultation with our friendly professional staff our curteous and knowledgeable sales representastive will help make a selection that's just right for you and just right for your budget and say don't forget forget to pick up your free gift.

A classic deluxe custom designer luxury prestige high quality premium select gourmet pockjet flashlight!

And if you act now we'll include an extra added free complimentary bonus gift

A classic deluxe custom designer luxury prestige high quality premium select gourmet leather style wallet with detachable keychain and a pencil holder!

It's our way of saying thank you and if you're not completely satisfied you pay nothing simply return the unused portion for a full refund no questions asked it's our way of saying thank you keep your free gift..

*Actually it's our way of saying bend over just a little further

and let us stick this bick dick into your ass a little bit deeper*

Well you know, whenever you're exposed to advertising in this country you realize all over again that america's leading industry is still;

The manufacture distribution packaging and marketing of BullShit

High quality bullshit, wold-class designer bullshit, to be sure!

Hospital tested clinical proven bullshit

But **bullshit nonetheless**

And it always amuses me that so many people seem to think that bullshit comes only from certain sources .. you know, advertising, politicians, salesmen ... not true!

Bullshit is everywhere!

Bullshit is rampant!

Parents are full of shit

teachers are full of shit

clergymen are full of shit

law enforcement people are full of shit

The entire country is completely full of shit

In fact this country was founded by a group of slave owners who told us that all men are created equal

That it what's known as being stunningly ... STUNNINGLY full of shit

And you know ... i think people show their ignorance when they say want politicians to be honest

What are these people talking about? If honesty was suddenly introduced into politics it would throw everything off!

The whole system would collapse!

And i think deep down the american people know that

The american people like their bullshit out front
Where they can get a good strong whiff of it

That's why they re-elected clinton

listen

clinton might be full of shit

but he lets you know it

dole tried to hide it .. "I'm a honest man" BULLSHIT .. BULLSHIT

People don't believe that shit.

Clinton said 'Hi i'm full of shit and how do you like that"

And the people said "at least, he's honest"

at leat he is honest about being full of shit

it's like the business world

all business men are completely full of shit

just the worst kind of people you ever want to run into

businessmen

and the proof of it is they don't even trust each other

they don't trust each other...

When a business man is negotiating a deal, the first thing he does is to automatically assume that the other guy is a complete lying prick who's trying to fuck him on the deal

So he has to do everything he can to fuck the other guy a little bit harder and a little bit faster

And then, when it comes to dealing with customers ... that's when you get the big smile

that's when you get the big smile

Businessmen always has that big smile on his face

As he carefully positions himself

Directly behind the customer

and unzips his pants

and services the account........

We specialize in customer service!

You heard that? Now you know what that means!

Whoever coined the phrase 'let the buyer beware' was probably bleeding from the asshole!

Then you have advertising

Advertising is the businessman's cheaply dressed two dollar blow job

advertising sells you things you don't need and can't afford that are overpriced and don't work

And they do it by exploiting your fears and insecurities and if you don't have any they'll be glad to give you a few

by showing you a nice picture of a woman with big tits

That's the essence of advertising.

Big tits.

Threateningly big tits.

And speaking about big tits, what about show business?

Showbusiness completely dishonest corrupt and full of shit

but in a nice way

plenty of expensive drugs and perverted sex

if you're going to be full of shit .. might as well enjoy your work

then you have the media .. not just the news media, let's include them all

The media are almost literally exploding with bullshit.

Because they're located right a the crossroads of all the other bullshit.

The media are made up of equal parts advertising politics business public relations and show business

These people are sitting right at bullshit junction!

There's enough bullshit a in the media for texas to open a branch office

And you still have enough left over to start two law firms and a christian bookstore.

Because folks i gotta tell you, when it comes to bullshit

Truly major league bullshit

You have to stand back in awe

In awe of the all-time heavyweight champion of false promises and exaggerated claims:

Religion

Organized Religion

It's no contest

Religion easily, Easily! has the best bullshit story of all time

Think about it

Religion has convinced people that there's an invisible man living in the sky

who watches everything you do every minute of every day

and the invisible man has a list of 10 specific things he doesn't want you to do

and if you do any of these things .. he will send you to a special place

of burning and fire and smoke and torture and anguish .. for you to live **forever**

and suffer and burn and scream

until the end of time

But he loves you!

He loves you

He loves you ..... and he needs money

He always needs money

He's all powerful all present all-knowing and all wise

Just can't handle money

Religion takes in billions and billions of dollars .. they pay no taxes

and somehow they always need money

You talk about a good bullshit story....

If i might be permitted a small pun:

Holy Shit!

holy shit

george carlin - advertising and bull shit #satire #satire

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