The Hornswoggle Project
Hello friends. Are you tired of wasting your valuable time on false claims and scam products that donât work?
Do you have better things to do than slog through pseudo-scientific articles about the benefits of the latest trendy âmiracleâ?
Well, we here at The Hornswoggle Project have the perfect solution.
Donât waste your precious time reading a long article about the benefits of putting a jade egg inside your vagina. Donât blow fifteen minutes of your day watching a video about the newest âMiracle Herbal Cureâ that is really just some weeds ground up and stuck into a gel cap. Donât bother with all those âtestimonialsâ by people like âScott G.â and âJill S.â and âMary P.â telling you how theyâve improved their health with the new trendy breathing technique.
Yes, thatâs right, you can save time and energy by simply using The Hornswoggle Method. When you feel that desperate need to get scammed out of your hard earned money, just send it to The Hornswoggle Project. Thatâs it! Fast, easy and no waiting. You can be ripped off instantly! Think of the time savings⊠no longer do you have to visit Goop. Com to find out the latest quack idiocy from Gwyneth Paltrow, waste minutes reading about it, viewing videos explaining it, reading testimonials verifying itâs âbenefitsâ. Just send your money to Hornswoggle and get INSTANT GRATIFICATION! Thatâs right INSTANT GRATIFICATION!
You will feel completely scammed and ripped off, without all that reading and watching videos⊠and the BEST PART? You donât have to order a thing, you donât have to wait for that jade egg to arrive via post. You donât have to read the instructions on how to use the âmiracle formulaâ, or how often to take the âmiracle fat burning pillâ, or even how hot to make that âcoffee enemaâ⊠just send us your money and feel duped INSTANTLY!
The time savings alone is worth every penny.
But thatâs not all⊠with Hornswoggle, YOU get to choose exactly how duped you want to feel! Thatâs right, we at Hornswoggle wonât demand you send us $39.95, nor even $29.95⊠no, not even $19.95⊠YOU CHOOSE! Send us whatever amount will fulfill your current need to feel stupid and YOUâRE DONE! Only need to feel a little bit scammed today? Send $5.00⊠need a bigger dose of foolishness? Send $10.00⊠want to feel especially stupid, send us $50.00. THE CHOICE IS YOURS.
And best of all, you will get no false claims at Hornswoggle. We promise nothing except that you will get taken, and feel stupid. And WE DELIVER ON THAT PROMISE! We wonât âburn away your fatâ, we donât promise âlong lifeâ or âbetter healthâ⊠no sir, we are HONEST here at Hornswoggle, we are ripping you off.
So please, save time, save energy and even dare we say it? Save MONEY! Just send whatever you need to send to feel like a sucker to the address below. We donât promise it will improve YOUR LIFE⊠but it will most certainly improve OURS!
Send all payments via PayPal to fraterchaos@protonmail.com.
DISCLAIMER: This may seem like satire, and youâre right, it isâŠ. but on the other hand, if youâre dumb enough to shove a piece of jade up your twat, youâre dumb enough to send me free money. And seriously, if you send any money, Iâll take it, and I wonât even thank you. I PROMISE!
#Hornswoggle
#Goop
#Rip Off
#Satire
#Scam