#worthless

hipstre@diasp.org

Accelerating Downfall
I am so fucking #angry all the time. Everything is getting worse, and the rate is accelerating. The #price of #everything I #buy to live has gone up more than 100% in the last two years. The #pricegouging and #profiteering is #endless. #Inflation is 7%, not 50%, and everyone else is… I have always been human fucking garbage. I always will be. My life is getting worse every year. It's unrelenting. I have to fucking commit #suicide. There is no way out. It's all getting worse and accelerating. I am already behind. I am already a loser piece of shit. I am #fat. I am #old. I am #ugly. I am #poor. I am #worthless. And there is NO WAY OUT. I have to commit suicide. I #hate my life more and more every day. I hate everyone around me. I hate myself. There is no path away from this. Don't respond saying that there is a path, but it's not an easy path. All that is saying is that I could get out, but I am #lazy. And I have already established that I am #fucking #worthless #human #garbage who should kill himself. But I am too much of a #coward to kill myself. I have to go on pointlessly suffering for some reason. I just hope someone kills me. If you know who I am, please kill me. I deserve a slow, painful death, but I ask for #mercy, and that you please make my #death #quick and #painless. I won't fight. I mean, I won't fight if I don't know what's coming. Shoot me in the back of the head or something. I #hope you get away with it. But ultimately I don't fucking care (See? Worthless Human Garbage). There is no point to your fucking worthless life either. But for what it's worth I hope you succeed and evade #legal #problems for my #murder, which I #deserve, I assure you. Kill me, please. There is no point in this going on.

icu_security@iviv.hu

Short poem by the victim of abuse. This particular victim tried many times to ask for help. In each time those pleas for help were ignored and the abuse continued.


Where Were You

by anon

Where were you?
Where were you when I was alone and defenceless?
Where were you when I was being abused?
Where were you when I called and asked you to help me when I was being abused?
Where were you?

Why didn't you answer?
Why didn't you help?
Why did you see me as valueless when you let me be hurt by my abuser?
Why didn't you help me?
Why?

Why when I asked for help did you throw me into the fire?
Why when I asked for help did you put me in the firing line of the one who was causing me pain?
Why when I asked for help did you consider me worthless and moved on?
Why?

I thought you were my friend.
I thought you would help me.
I thought I could trust you.
I thought, at last, I was valued.
I found out, in reality, I was worthless.

What's wrong with me...
What did I do wrong...


#abuse #abused #poem #victim #worthless #value #ignored #defenceless

kennychaffin@diasp.org

So.... USPS Informed Delivery is all but useless to get these notifications

"You may have more mail or packages than are shown in your Daily Digest. To check, go to your Dashboard"

"Mail may arrive several days after you receive this notification. Please allow up to a week for delivery before reporting missing mail. Report missing mail"

#worthless

hipstre@diasp.org

I am a #broken person and I have wanted to die for twenty five years. I am fundamentally #worthless. People will say that my "#negativity" is what is causing this. Which is a pointless fucking thing to say. Whatever the reason is, it doesn't matter. I am a worthless sack of #shit. I should never have been born. I have never been #happy. Everything truly gets worse year after year. I was unable to make a life worth living thirty years ago, when I was young, and I have only gotten weaker, dumber, less confident, more of a burden. The only merciful thing that can happen is if I get killed. I want it to be #painless. I cannot remember the last time I looked forward to anything. I spend the entirety of every day avoiding as many people as possible. I used to like people, but I have been in a #relationship that has taught me to truly, truly fucking hate things that I "#love". It makes no sense. Nothing makes sense. Everything is turning me into a horrible #monster day by day, and there's not a goddamn thing I can do about it. I don't even want to do anything about it. Seeing "#happy" people fucking disgusts me. Seeing #miserable people disgusts me. I have nothing but #hatred and #contempt for all of you. I don't know why I haven't killed myself. Things come up and I just go on automatic. Then something happens and I am back here. What the fuck happened in the last month (or however long it's been since I've written a #suicidenote on here) that changed anything? Nothing. It's been awful. It's been an absolutely awful month that was worse than the month before. Actually it wasn't. It was not as bad. But everything is falling apart. I hate being alive.

I went to the #dentist. I need a lot of work done. I don't see the point of it. I don't want to spend $50,000 on my teeth and then blow my fucking brains out. So my teeth get worse and worse. I had kidney stones. They hurt like hell. My bitch of a "partner" spent the entire time in the Emergency Room bitching about how this wasn't even one of the five worst things that happened to her in the last year and a half. She is an unbelievably selfish bitch in many ways. In other ways, she enables me to be the disgusting, worthless sack of human fucking garbage that I am. I deserve someone as fucking atrocious as she is. I fucking hate her. I fucking hate her so fucking much. She disgusts me. Everything disgusts me. I want #aliens to read this and take #pity on me and #vaporize me instantly in my #sleep. But it never happens. The only way out is through or over a wall of #pain that I am too #lazy to break down or climb over. So I just #persist, making everyone's life worse. If you've read this far, which you shouldn't have, I have made your life worse. You need to listen to all the feel good therapeutic #bullshit that tells you to eliminate negative people from your life. I am one of them. I am getting worse and worse. I cannot even believe that I am a worse person than I was a year ago. But here I am, getting worse and worse.

hipstre@diasp.org

Everyone Has Stopped Talking To Me
It has taken many years, but everyone has stopped talking to me. I #alienate everyone because I am past helping. People like to think they can help you. They can't help me. I am past saving. I am a #fat, #worthless, piece of #human #garbage. I am down to one friend who will respond to me at all. #Therapists have no interest in me, as I don't have the money to buy their time, and I am past helping. I have been here many times before. I have to kill myself. It is what everyone wants. The most painful thing is to have little alert boxes and chat notifiers set up on social networking and other sites and types of software. And watch as people I have sent messages to, pop on the site, linger for an hour or two, and then disappear without acknowledging or replying to texts, messages, posts, or chats.

I know they saw my messages. They know that I know. They don't reply. After awhile, people just want you to kill yourself. But first they have to make sure that you know that you did this to yourself. And that they are the real victims here. But whatever. I don't blame anyone. I am a completely worthless piece of shit. Who cares? No one. This is your future. Unless you have children and warp their minds and hobble them, no one will care about you unless you pay them once you get old. And once you start paying people to "care" about you, you know what you are: a worthless sack of human fucking garbage.