#angry

tord_dellsen@diasp.eu

We see that we have been thoughtless,
Straying from the path of #mindfulness.
We have stored up #afflictions and #ignorance,
Which have brought about so much #aversion and #sorrow.
There are times we have been weary of life
Because we are so full of #anxiety.
Because we do not understand others,
We are #angry and #resentful.
First we try to #reason with each other, then we #blame.
Every day the #suffering increases, making the rift greater.
There are days when we are unwilling to speak to each other,
Unwilling to look at each other in the face.
And we create internal formations, which last for a long time.

--- from the book Chanting from the Heart: Buddhist Ceremonies and Daily Practice

hipstre@diasp.org

Accelerating Downfall
I am so fucking #angry all the time. Everything is getting worse, and the rate is accelerating. The #price of #everything I #buy to live has gone up more than 100% in the last two years. The #pricegouging and #profiteering is #endless. #Inflation is 7%, not 50%, and everyone else is… I have always been human fucking garbage. I always will be. My life is getting worse every year. It's unrelenting. I have to fucking commit #suicide. There is no way out. It's all getting worse and accelerating. I am already behind. I am already a loser piece of shit. I am #fat. I am #old. I am #ugly. I am #poor. I am #worthless. And there is NO WAY OUT. I have to commit suicide. I #hate my life more and more every day. I hate everyone around me. I hate myself. There is no path away from this. Don't respond saying that there is a path, but it's not an easy path. All that is saying is that I could get out, but I am #lazy. And I have already established that I am #fucking #worthless #human #garbage who should kill himself. But I am too much of a #coward to kill myself. I have to go on pointlessly suffering for some reason. I just hope someone kills me. If you know who I am, please kill me. I deserve a slow, painful death, but I ask for #mercy, and that you please make my #death #quick and #painless. I won't fight. I mean, I won't fight if I don't know what's coming. Shoot me in the back of the head or something. I #hope you get away with it. But ultimately I don't fucking care (See? Worthless Human Garbage). There is no point to your fucking worthless life either. But for what it's worth I hope you succeed and evade #legal #problems for my #murder, which I #deserve, I assure you. Kill me, please. There is no point in this going on.

hipstre@diasp.org

I am so #angry right now, I can't think. I can #rant. I can #emote. And I can think too. I am actually #thinking. I am going to try to remove all #politics from all of my feeds. When the #election comes, I look the stuff up. I decide how to #vote and I do it. On the matters of elected offices, it is decided forever. I am never going to vote for a #Republican, ever, under any circumstance. I made that decision in #1992, and have periodically re-examined it. I participate in #primary elections, so I examine the #Democratic candidates then and pick from among them. Then, I vote for whatever Democrat wins. I give a little #money to a political organization. I don't need or want to hear a single, fucking, goddamn, motherfucking, rapist, racist, Ku Klux Klan, trans, LGBTQIA+, cancel this, twitter that, fucking THING about anything else. All I can do is vote. That's it. If there's some other problem and I can do something, then I will consider it. Other than that, there's not a single fucking thing I can do. I can't "amplify marginalized gorups." No one gives a fuck what I have to say. And they shouldn't. I speak for myself. The marginalized groups, given how fucking "marginalized" they are, don't seem to be having any fucking problem at all getting their "voices heard." If there's something I can do I will consider it. I will vote for Democrats. End of story. I am not important in any fucking way. No one is listening to me. No one wants to listen to me. I don't want anyone to listen to me. I shouldn't have any #power. I don't want to live in a world where people who want power, get power. That's not going to happen in my lifetime. For my pathetic, pointless, zero of a life, and what's left of it, I can do one thing: vote. That's it.