#jokes

jirikiha@diasp.org

A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patty Whack.
"Miss Whack, I'd like to get a $30,000 loan to take a holiday."
Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's okay, he knows the bank manager.
Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral.
The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.
Very confused, Patty explains that she'll have to consult with the bank manager and disappears into a back office.
She finds the manager and says, "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000, and he wants to use this as collateral." She holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what in the world is this?"
(You're gonna love this.)
The bank manager looks back at her and says, "It's a knickknack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone."
(You sang it, didn't you? Yeah, I know you did.)
Never take life too seriously.
★♫.•Pass it on!! Give someone else a reason to smile. ♫★
#jokes

drnoam@diasp.org

Top 10 #jokes of the 2023 #Edinburgh #Fringe Festival. Number 4 gave me a good laugh.

  1. I started dating a zookeeper, but it turned out he was a cheetah - Lorna Rose Treen
  2. The most British thing I've ever heard? A lady who said 'Well I'm sorry, but I don't apologise.' - Liz Guterbock
  3. Last year I had a great joke about inflation. But it's hardly worth it now - Amos Gill
  4. When women gossip we get called bitchy; but when men do it's called a podcast - Sikisa
  5. I thought I'd start off with a joke about The Titanic - just to break the ice - Masai Graham
  6. How do coeliac Germans greet each other? Gluten tag - Frank Lavender
  7. My friend got locked in a coffee place overnight. Now he only ever goes into Starbucks, not the rivals. He's Costa-phobic - Roger Swift
  8. I entered the 'How not to surrender' competition and I won hands down - Bennett Arron
  9. Nationwide must have looked pretty silly when they opened their first branch - William Stone
  10. My grandma describes herself as being in her "twilight years" which I love because they're great films - Daniel Foxx

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-edinburgh-east-fife-66569215

#humour #funny

ramnath@nerdpol.ch

A 'Hilarious' Compilation of #Medieval #Jokes and Humour

What did #people in the Middle Ages really find funny? It would seem that the same things have been found to be amusing right across the ages. Many of the riddles that the Medievals told have double entendre’s and the jokes are rude with references to sex and bodily functions. No one was exempt from being the target of a Medieval joke; stupid husbands, unfaithful wives, bishops, even royalty.

Published 2nd September 2022 (11:10)

Source: https://youtube.com/watch?v=3EA--U3PY9M
A 'Hilarious' Compilation of Medieval Jokes and Humour!

buzzkill@diaspora.schoenf.de

“DDT Is Good For Me-e-e!”

"...everyone can enjoy health, comfort, and safety through... DDT"

#Activism #SocialJustice #Justice #CivilRights #Equality #Diversity #Pluralism #Freedom #Liberty #HumanRights #Humanitarianism #Humanitarian #Organize #Organization #Collaboration #FunctionalCollaboration #Coordination #Cooperation #Empowerment #Culture #CulturalHealth #CulturalFreedom #CulturalPluralism #CulturalDiversity #HealthyCulture #MonoCulture #Philosophy #SocialTheory #SocialScience #Government #Politics #PoliticalJustice #PoliticalScience #PoliSci #PublicPolicy #Policy #Democracy #MaintainingDemocracy #FunctionalDemocracy #ParticipatoryDemocracy #ParticipatoryEducation #Citizen #Citizenship #CitizenCommunications #Education #LiberateEducation #EducationLiberation #Socialism #Mutualism #MutualAide #SocialEcology #Anarchy #Anarchism #Anarchist #Christian #MessianicJew #Religion #Faith #Collectivism #Capitalism #AntiFacist #AntiFa #Civilization #EconomicJustice #Law #FightPropaganda #Propaganda #Truth #Corruption #Lies #USA #America #Environment #Environmentalism #EnvironmentalJustice #Ecology #EcoActivism #Climate #ClimateJustice #ClimateActivism #ClimateActivist #ClimateChange #Carbon #AirQuality #WaterProtectors #Water #Pollution #Sustainability #Gender #LGBT #LGBTQ #Violence #ToxicCulture #ToxicConformity #Hate #Racism #WhiteSupremacist #WhiteSupremacy #Sexism #Misogyny #Chauvinism #Chauvinist #Fascism #Fascist #Paternalism #AntiSemitism #XenoPhobia #Nationalism #Nationalists #Discrimination #StopDiscrimination #Oppression #Persecution #Slavery #Nazi #NoNazis #PsuedoScience #KnowThyEnemy #Righteous #Righteousness #Vigilance #ReWild #Wild #ReWildorDie #KnowThySelf #Health #HealthCare #HealthFood #Food #Nutrition #Eating #Diet #Natural #Veg #Vegetarian #Vegan #FoodJustice #FoodSecurity #FoodSupply #FoodShortage #FoodShortages #Famine #SupplyChain #Agriculture #AvianFlu #H1N5 #BioWeapon #BioSecurity #MonkeyPox #Medical #Medicine #Wellness #WellBeing #Psychology #Psych #Sociology #Power #COVID #COVID19 #COVID-19 #Coronavirus #Pandemic #Pandémie #Pandemie #Quarantine #Lockdown #Lockdowns #Vaccine #Vaccins #InformedConsent #ClinicalTrial #Autonomy #Pfizer #BionTech #Shot #Jab #Vaxx #NoVax #PasseVaccinal #VaxPass #EndAllMandates #AdverseReactions #LongCOVID #PostCOVID #PostCOVIDSyndrome #Survival #Prepper #Prep #Preppers #SelfCare #BushCraft #DeColonize #DeAssimilate #InformationJustice #EducationJustice #EducationalJustice #GrassrootsEducation #KnowledgeIsPower #Luddite #Union #Science #BioTech #Tech #CBDC #DigitalCurrency #Currency #SocialMedia #CleanHumor #Humor #Funny #Jokes #Democrat #Republican #Progressive #WEF #Anonymity #Cybercrime #Eugenics #Genocide #BioTerror #Resistance #Electric #Cars #ElectricCars #Rockefeller #Oil #Pesticides #PetroChemicals #BigPharma #Pharma #Scientism

buzzkill@diaspora.schoenf.de

Trust the Scientism

Scientism Knows Better Than You

Don't Question the Scientism

The Scientism Knows All

Scientism is Absolute Truth

Scientism is Unquestionable

Scientism is Perfect

Scientism has Never Been Wrong

You are Not as Smart as Scientism

You are Insignificant Compared to Scientism

Obey the Scientism

You are Bad to Question the Scientism

You are Obscelent to Question the Scientism

You are Arrogant to Question the Scientism

You do Not Deserve to Question the Scientism

You are Disobedient to Question the Scientism

You are Disrespectful to Question the Scientism

You are a Bad Citizen to Question the Scientism

You are Not Worthy to Question the Scientism

You are Not a Worthy Community Member if You Question the Scientism

The Scientism is Better Than You

You are Not Good Enough to Question the Scientism

The Scientism Will Reject You

You Will Be Shamed

You Will Be Shunned

You are Inferior to the Scientism

You are a Failure if You Question the Scientism

You are Stupid if You Do Not Believe the Scientism

Follow the Scientism

You are a Fool if You Do Not Follow the Scientism

Only an Idiot Questions the Scientism

You are Backwards if You Question the Scientism

You are Unsophisticated if You Question the Scientism

You are a Loser if you Question the Scientism

Scientism is the Solution

People who Disobey the Scientism are The Problem

You Need the Scientism

You Must Not Displease the Scientism

Scientism is High Tech

High Tech is Scientism

Scientism is the Future

You Cannot Win Without the Scientism

You Are Nothing Without the Scientism

You are Helpless Without the Scientism

You are Defenseless Without the Scientism

Only the Scientism Can Keep You Safe

You Want the Scientism

Everyone Would Want the Scientism

You Are Stupid to Dislike the Scientism

Scientism is the Only Way

Smart People Follow Scientism

Smart People Trust Scientism

Your Ancestors Trusted #Scientism

#Activism #SocialJustice #Justice #CivilRights #Equality #Diversity #Pluralism #Freedom #Liberty #HumanRights #Humanitarianism #Humanitarian #Organize #Organization #Collaboration #FunctionalCollaboration #Coordination #Cooperation #Empowerment #Culture #CulturalHealth #CulturalFreedom #CulturalPluralism #CulturalDiversity #HealthyCulture #MonoCulture #Philosophy #SocialTheory #SocialScience #Government #Politics #PoliticalJustice #PoliticalScience #PoliSci #PublicPolicy #Policy #Democracy #MaintainingDemocracy #FunctionalDemocracy #ParticipatoryDemocracy #ParticipatoryEducation #Citizen #Citizenship #CitizenCommunications #Education #LiberateEducation #EducationLiberation #Socialism #Mutualism #MutualAide #SocialEcology #Anarchy #Anarchism #Anarchist #Christian #MessianicJew #Religion #Faith #Collectivism #Capitalism #AntiFacist #AntiFa #Civilization #EconomicJustice #Law #FightPropaganda #Propaganda #Truth #Corruption #Lies #USA #America #Environment #Environmentalism #EnvironmentalJustice #Ecology #EcoActivism #Climate #ClimateJustice #ClimateActivism #ClimateActivist #ClimateChange #Carbon #AirQuality #WaterProtectors #Water #Pollution #Sustainability #Gender #LGBT #LGBTQ #Violence #ToxicCulture #ToxicConformity #Hate #Racism #WhiteSupremacist #WhiteSupremacy #Sexism #Misogyny #Chauvinism #Chauvinist #Fascism #Fascist #Paternalism #AntiSemitism #XenoPhobia #Nationalism #Nationalists #Discrimination #StopDiscrimination #Oppression #Persecution #Slavery #Nazi #NoNazis #PsuedoScience #KnowThyEnemy #Righteous #Righteousness #Vigilance #ReWild #Wild #ReWildorDie #KnowThySelf #Health #HealthCare #HealthFood #Food #Nutrition #Eating #Diet #Natural #Veg #Vegetarian #Vegan #FoodJustice #FoodSecurity #FoodSupply #FoodShortage #FoodShortages #Famine #SupplyChain #Agriculture #AvianFlu #H1N5 #BioWeapon #BioSecurity #MonkeyPox #Medical #Medicine #Wellness #WellBeing #Psychology #Psych #Sociology #Power #COVID #COVID19 #COVID-19 #Coronavirus #Pandemic #Pandémie #Pandemie #Quarantine #Lockdown #Lockdowns #Vaccine #Vaccins #InformedConsent #ClinicalTrial #Autonomy #Pfizer #BionTech #Shot #Jab #Vaxx #NoVax #PasseVaccinal #VaxPass #EndAllMandates #AdverseReactions #LongCOVID #PostCOVID #PostCOVIDSyndrome #Survival #Prepper #Prep #Preppers #SelfCare #BushCraft #DeColonize #DeAssimilate #InformationJustice #EducationJustice #EducationalJustice #GrassrootsEducation #KnowledgeIsPower #Luddite #Union #Science #BioTech #Tech #CBDC #DigitalCurrency #Currency #SocialMedia #CleanHumor #Humor #Funny #Jokes #Democrat #Republican #Progressive #WEF #Anonymity #Cybercrime #Eugenics #Genocide #BioTerror #Resistance #Transportation #PublicTransportation #Electric #Streetcar #Cars #ElectricCars #Rockefeller #Oil #Bus #Buses

mlansbury@despora.de

https://twitter.com/rde42/status/1499721582666727432

#jokes #UkraineInvasion #Putin #PutinTerrorist #PutinWarCrimes #PutinWarCriminal

buzzkill@diaspora.schoenf.de
estherschindler@pluspora.com

A woman goes to the post office to buy stamps for her Chanukah cards. She says to the clerk, "May I have 50 Chanukah stamps please."
"What denomination?" asks the clerk.
The woman says "Oy vey ... my God, has it come to this? Okay, give me 6 orthodox, 12 conservative, and 32 reform!" #jokes